Get to Know Each Other – Complete Guide to Questions and Rules

What is the Get to Know game?

Get to Know is a question-based social game where participants answer questions about themselves – and those who recognize themselves in the answer, or who answered differently than others expected, drink. The game works as a bridge between superficial small talk and genuine, meaningful conversation. It is designed to create a natural flow in the conversation without it feeling forced or awkward.

The game is perfect for many different situations: pre-drinks where half the group don't know each other, blind dates where two groups meet, student apartments with new roommates, or friend groups who want to learn more about each other after years of friendship. It scales from an intimate date setting with two people to large groups of ten or more.

What sets Get to Know apart from other drinking games is that the focus is genuinely on conversation and connection – the drinking is a means, not the goal. Many groups discover that they have been talking for three hours without noticing, and that the evening resulted in conversations they remember long afterwards.

How to play Get to Know

1. Everyone sits comfortably around a table or in a circle. Make sure everyone has something to drink.
2. One player is the moderator and reads out the first question from the card deck, app or a pre-made list.
3. Everyone answers the question in turn – either with a simple answer, or with a brief explanation.
4. After everyone has answered, those who answered in a specific way drink (for example: those who have never done X, or those who agree with Y).
5. Alternatively: the question is a "who among you" type where everyone points, and the one with the most fingers pointing at them drinks – similar to Most Likely.
6. The next person to the left reads the next question. The game continues around the table like this.
7. Play for as long as the mood dictates – there is no fixed end in Get to Know.

Tip: The best Get to Know sessions happen when everyone is genuinely curious about each other. Encourage people to ask follow-up questions about interesting answers – that is when the really good conversations arise.

Question categories and examples

Get to Know questions can be divided into different levels based on depth and personal nature. Here is an overview of the categories and example questions:

Drinking rules for Get to Know

There are many ways to integrate drinking into Get to Know. Here are the most common approaches:

The Yes/No rule

The question is phrased as "Have you ever...?" Everyone who answers yes drinks one sip. Alternatively everyone who answers no drinks – depending on what the group decides. This is the quickest and most direct form, and keeps the pace up.

The majority rule

After everyone has answered, you see who is in the minority. If five out of six answered that they like hiking, the one who does not drinks. This rewards "fitting in" with the group and creates funny situations where individuals stand out.

The ranking rule

For questions where you can rank (for example "Who is most intuitive?"), everyone points at the person they think fits best – the one with the most votes drinks. A hybrid between Get to Know and Most Likely.

Voluntary sharing

The person answering a question can choose to answer briefly or elaborate. If they choose to elaborate with a full story, everyone else listening drinks one sip as thanks for the story. This rewards honesty and openness.

Tips for getting the best out of Get to Know

• Build gradually. Start with light, safe questions and work your way up to deeper topics. Never jump straight to personal questions – that can make people shut down.
• Be a good listener. It is just as important to listen actively as to answer well. Ask follow-up questions and show that you are genuinely interested.
• Respect boundaries. Everyone is allowed to say "pass" on a question without penalty. No one should be pressured into sharing something they are not comfortable with.
• Vary the pace. Mix quick, fun questions with more reflective ones to keep the energy varied and interesting.
• No judgemental atmosphere. The most important thing for Get to Know to work is that everyone feels safe enough to answer honestly. Make sure the group is inclusive and non-judgemental.
• Use follow-up questions strategically. "Why exactly that?" and "What happened then?" are the two most valuable phrases in the Get to Know game.

Variants of Get to Know

Speed Get to Know

Set a time limit of 30 seconds per answer. Everyone answers quickly and concisely without long explanations. This keeps the pace up and suits groups that prefer quick, lighter conversations over deep dives. Perfect as a warm-up activity.

Get to Know on a date

A version for two people – either a new couple or two who want to get to know each other better. The questions are tailored to a romantic context and go deeper on values, dreams and personality. Combined with a glass of wine and good food, this is one of the best tools for genuine connection on a date.

Themed Get to Know

Choose one theme for the whole evening – for example "travel", "childhood", "work and career" or "future dreams". All questions stay within the theme. This gives a deeper dive into one area and works well for groups who already know each other and want to explore one specific aspect of each other's lives.

Anonymous Get to Know

Everyone writes their answer on a piece of paper and puts it in a bowl. The moderator draws pieces of paper and reads them aloud – the group guesses who answered what. The one who guesses correctly the most times wins, and those who are clearly identifiable from their answer drink. This variant gives a fun insight into who is easy to recognise.

Frequently asked questions about Get to Know

Is this suitable for people who do not know each other?

Absolutely – Get to Know is actually best between people who do not know each other well. It is designed precisely to break the ice and create a safe framework for sharing personal things. Stick to level 1 and 2 questions until the group is warmed up.

Can you play without alcohol?

Yes, Get to Know works perfectly with soft drinks, juice or water. The drinking element is secondary – it is the questions and conversations that are the core of the game. Many actually like playing it without alcohol to stay sharp through the deepest conversations.

How many questions do you need?

For a pleasant 30-minute session, 20–30 questions is enough. If you want to use the whole evening, have 60–80 ready. Our digital version on drikkelek.com has a large library of questions in all categories and levels.

What if someone does not want to answer?

It is always fine to say "pass" without further explanation. A good house rule is that the person who passes on a question drinks two sips – not as punishment, but as a small "trade" for skipping the question. This makes passing a deliberate choice rather than an escape.